***Foreword: The thoughts present on the subject below the post is in regards to clinical depression but they can be used to understand normal depression too.***
Many people who know me on social media, know me for my joking nature and silly antics. I am known to make light of situations to get a smile out of and I am blessed that I have not offended anybody until this day. Yet. But, even there are some subjects that even I dare not take an indifferent and humorous approach, not because of fear of the backlash of the people but because my conscience would berate me forever for it. And I don’t want to hurt the sentiments of anyone going through them by my ignorant behavior.
And today, I am going to talk about a very important topic which I have been newly introduced to but was aware of it’s existence since I was a child. This specific topic is a state which has been growing in a excessive rate. It is Depression.
At the start, I thought depression was a feeling of lethargy and sadness and I was not completely wrong. But now, as I grew up and got introduced to different people from different places and my own research on the subject, I found that until now, I was unable to comprehend the degree of how it was affecting and having an impact on the lives of the population including some of my friends.
This blog of mine just gives my thoughts upon it so it won’t contain any technical information on it. I will introduce links where you can read upon it at the end of the blog. I may be found guilty of being biased and hypocritical stating the case that I have never felt depression myself so making me unable to sympathize with the ones in this state. I do not know the full aspect of depression but I do know sadness and melancholy. Being a loner is a kind if state in itself.
Depression is sadness. That is the basic understanding, in layman’s terms. But seriously, it is just the tip of the iceberg. I have found that that depressed people go through social anxiety, guilt, losing interest, low self-esteem short attention span and being unsure about their decisions. Sometimes depression can also lead to suicidal thoughts.
You can say that depression can be controlled by anti-depressants and therapy sessions. But those methods should only be utilized if no other method seems to be working. So before you diagnose someone of having depression, and advising them drugs and therapy, please think of the simple old ways.
First of all, talk about it. Many a times, it is easy to perceive if a person is depressed or not. There are various observations which indicate it. But some people wear a facade in order to hide it. Both boys and girls do it but boys seem to hide it more and as a result suffer more. They may not want to trouble their friends and family or are just afraid of be found out. Now, I know how the world can be quite a judgmental place, but it is choosing the bigger of the two evils. If you keep hiding it, it will just keep on accumulating and pool over one day.
According to me, the best way to help people is keep them company. When they know that somebody is listening to makes them feel better. But, you must know how to treat them right. Suppose, when you meet a person, you stand at a distance and greet them. If you are too close, then you will be stepping on their comfort zone. If you stay too back, the communication will be weak. The same scenario applies for in this situation. Depressed people have their own distance which we should respect and try to find where they would be fully comfortable when talking to us.
The actual conversation. When you talk to a person going through depression, you can find the conversation can be one-sided. The person may not be able to understand the question, answer offhandedly, ask to repeat, etc. It is not because they are unintelligent or bored(still it can be they are bored) but because they are unsure as I mentioned above. For depressed people, social interactions can be hard. They may not be able to reciprocate the enthusiasm the other one possesses and may feel inadequate in contributing to the conversation or activity. They can also shut themselves off completely, if the other one keeps prodding and prodding. So to all the ones trying to talk to them, be humble and patient. They need time. Answer their questions. Tell them it is okay if you have to repeat what you said and that you don’t mind. You cannot just demand they talk with you on their own level. That is selfish. And such actions do more harm than good.
Last of all, it all depends upon the person if he/she wants to get out the blues. It is difficult, depression clings to you like an addiction, you start to adapt to it which is harmful. Some go through it all their lives. There is no cure but does not mean there is no hope. You cannot let it dictate your life, and your identity. Especially, never define yourself with it. It is not a characteristic of you. Define yourself with something you derive joy an hold on to it.
Thank you for reading.
For technical information regarding depression, please refer to the following links: